Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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