so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
