If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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