we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
