I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
