Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
