Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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