We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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