do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You did what with his pubic hair?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
