Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
