the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
