my mouth tastes like poor choices
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
