brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We have started to decorate penises.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
