then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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