I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
