I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
