Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
