so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
