Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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