glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
