guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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