Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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