she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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