No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
