I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
