I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize