I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
