well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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