apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
