Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
