He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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