I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
