Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
