he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
my being single is dangerous.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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