I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
