party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
