What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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