so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
