Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
