I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
