One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Acid is not a monday night drug
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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