dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
