When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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