Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
