its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
