Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
His nipple licking is glorious
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