So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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