I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We had sex on a dog bed..
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
