dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
