Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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