the day after is always just damage control
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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