i jhust puked up my retainher.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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