How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
