better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
