Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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