k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
