yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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