can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
