Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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