i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
