I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
smell my finger.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
